10 Anxiety Ridden Confessions

I know it is only Wednesday, but so far, this week has been crazy. It's not that my blog has ever been a "secret," it just hasn't really been easily accessible to the people that I actually know. And, it feels really weird to say, that this is no longer true. On Monday, I added my blog to my resume and LinkedIn profile. For some reason, that wasn't terrifying enough, so then I thought hey, maybe people didn't see that small update, maybe I should share this post on LinkedIn too. I blame Helene for all of the encouragement.

However, yesterday is when things really got interesting. I have been waiting to share the news of Aaron's new job for a while now, and I guess the excitement got the better of me. Once Aaron made the announcement that he had given his notice, I thought it was a great plan to share the post I had written about our plans. I shared it on Facebook. My personal Facebook.

It took about 20 minutes before I reflected on all the awkward and embarrassing things that I have posted over the years, and regret set in. Mike made a great point though, who's going to stalk my blog back to 2013 and then admit it? Lord willing, nobody. Does that make all of my worry go away? Hell no. That's why I decided to just let it out in this week's Humpday Confessions.

I confess that I may have jumped the gun on sharing my blog.
    We don't start traveling for two weeks, and I doubt our family/friends care about the "Mascara Favorites" post I have planned...

I confess that I am terrified people are picking my blog apart and judging the shit out of me.

I confess that I've only deleted one post since I started this blog in June 2012.

I confess that I can't decide between wanting people to read, and wanting people not to read.

I confess that despite being extremely excited to start traveling, I am really sad about leaving my friends and family.

I confess that I am scared that I am going to miss out on important things.

I confess that drinking together over Facetime to celebrate my birthday, doesn't sound the same as a real party.

I confess that I'm ignoring my actual responsibilities to spend as much time with people before I go as I possibly can.

I confess that my life really is a fucking dream and sometimes I get too overwhelmed to realize it.

I confess that I can't wait to see the world and chase the warmer weather!

leave your comfort zone behind

Today, I decided to try liquid eyeliner for the first time. As you can imagine, [or as you can literally see with your very own eyes] it really didn't go all that great. I have been considering giving it a go for awhile now, because I really like the wing on a lot of girls. I just kept avoiding it for some reason. It was definitely as difficult as I expected it to be, and I definitely look ridiculous. Maybe with some practice, it will end up looking a little more normal? The point is, I tried! I finally gave it a go, and I'm no worse off now, than I was yesterday. Even the husband's reaction was entertaining: *shaking head* "You look ridiculous. Did you leave the house like that??"

This post is not really about liquid liner. Stick with me.

It was brought to my attention today, that I have been... somewhat of a bitch lately. I will admit, there is a good chance that this might be an accurate description. I have been incredibly stressed and overwhelmed with some big life changes. Life changes that have come about because we have taken the first steps. We are now officially out of the comfort zone and trying new things. I mean really, I live in a damn Airstream. But what comes next? People rarely give advice on what the next step is, and that kind of bothers me. I'm out of my comfort zone, now what the fuck do I do?

Are you ready for that secret I mentioned last week?!

Not only did I try liquid eyeliner, and find out that I've been a real pain in the ass, but today, Aaron, my husband, also gave his two weeks notice at his secure full-time job. In exchange for a 6-month contract position. This position is only guaranteed for those 6-months, but that allows us that full amount of time to work remotely and travel the country [while looking for another remote position]. I am excited and terrified. I am so outside of my comfort zone that I might be going a little bit crazy. Or I might be acting a little bit like a bitch, depends on who you ask, I guess.

So what do you do, after you've abandoned all reason and you're waiting to see what happens next? You just go with it. Sit back, enjoy the ride, and see where life takes you. Because, really, what else are you going to do? You definitely don't want to be a bitch.

I challenge all of you to try something new this week/to do something outside of your comfort zone!

creamy shrimp & garlic pasta

This weeks recipe was inspired by a post that I did way back in February of 2013. I guess back in 2013 I was really into pasta.. so weird. Maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on my mother for not knowing that I don't like Italian food?

The title: Creamy Shrimp and Garlic Pasta, is a little misleading. Not because it's not creamy, because it totally is! But because you don't have to make it with shrimp. Aaron doesn't really eat meat at all, and he thought it was delicious with no protein.

Really, the best thing about this recipe is that you look fancy even though it is so easy (less than 10 steps!).

Creamy Shrimp and Garlic Pasta:

(1)  in a medium sauce pan, heat olive oil over medium heat
       add minced garlic *watch closely, garlic burns easily*
(2)  once garlic is tender, add butter and melt fully
(3)  add salt, pepper, and chicken stock
       bring ingredients to boil
(4)  once sauce pan has reached rolling boil, add pasta
(5)  cook pasta per box directions *do not drain*

while pasta is cooking...
drizzle shrimp with olive oil
add minced garlic, and old bay seasoning
saute shrimp until pink

(6)  reduce to medium heat, combine parmesan cheese
(7)  once cheese is fully melted, remove from heat
      add half & half and desired parsley 
      *sauce may be thin at first, let sit, covered, for 5 minutes*
(8) shazaam:

Ya'll.... this is so damn good. Totally dinner party worthy. Just don't serve it in Tupperwear... ;)

I don't want to wear sleeves

Are you ready for a "brief" rant about professionalism and following your dreams? Shit is about to get heavy over here.

The best part is at the end. It all comes together, trust me! If you can't make it to the end, just go here.

First up: Professionalism
I say that I am too free spirited for an old fashioned office environment. What that really means: I am too opinionated and strange to be put into a box that determines what is and what is not professional. It is absolutely ridiculous to me, that there are still people who feel that "unnatural" colored hair, sleeveless shirts, and tattoos inherently make a person unprofessional. I want to live and work in a world where I can look however I please, wear cat t-shirts, and still have an amazing career.

Gone are the days where I dress up in some random outfit that I will never wear again for a job interview. I'm just done. I don't want to pretend to be someone/something I'm not. I just am who I am. If you don't like me, let's figure it out up front.

This leads nicely, I feel, into my next topic: Following Your Dreams
I also don't think it is crazy to say, that at one time or another, we have all done what was expected of us, rather than what we truly wanted to do. Maybe you didn't want to go to college, perhaps you wanted to travel and live a little before choosing an educational path, but ultimately decided against it because you thought people would judge you. Maybe you wanted to quit your job and focus on your passion, and a lot of doubters had you questioning yourself.

I have clearly had my share of experiences when it comes to my career, good and bad, but all of them educational. There really just isn't enough time in this life to cover all of the things that I have learned. And why should we? Why discuss all that nonsense when we can just talk about that one big thing, that one glaring thing that I just can't escape from, no matter what the job is. You know what I mean, like when your teachers all wrote that you talk too much on your school progress reports. Whatever man, it is what it is. This is who I am as a person, it doesn't matter how many times you punish me. I'm still going to find a way to get in trouble for speaking.

The number one thing that all of these jobs taught me was that I need flexibility. Deadlines are fine, tasks are great, but I need to be able to work on my own terms. I need to do things my own way, in my own time, and from where I want. Some days I will work all day long and never leave the office, and other days I don't want to turn my computer on, and I need someone to be okay with that. I absolutely need freedom to be myself and to live my life. Being tied down, the expectations of punching a clock, it all gives me horrible anxiety.

All of these reasons are exactly why I live in an Airstream. But even more than that, and probably way more relatable, these are the reasons why I decided to take Helene's new Quit Your Job To Blog E-course! You aren't going to find a boss that likes you better then you like yourself! And as long as your husband is down with cat t-shirts, you can wear whatever you want to the office in your house.

If you are reading this blog, there is a good chance that you are a blogger too. Please don't miss this opportunity to do something that you really want to do. Screw the haters and follow your own dreams. They can do what they want to do, instead of expecting you to do it.

You should totally do what I want you to do though. Go check out this E-course, you won't be sorry.

Flash Back :: Las Vegas

Over the weekend, I literally saw a snow flake. I need you to understand how completely unacceptable that is. Partially because I live in a frickin' Airstream, but also because it is the middle of October. We haven't even made it past Halloween and Michigan has the nerve to be dropping flakes? Oh hell no.

In honor of the unacceptable and premature snow, I decided to share some pictures from my trip to Vegas. Aaron and I went to Las Vegas for the first time this past June, and it was so warm and magical. Definitely, a different kind of heat than I am used to, and you guys, my hair loved the desert! No blow dryer required. Best time ever.

Have you been to Las Vegas? Did you like it? What was your favorite part??

Taylor Swift Vibes Only

Right about now, you might be asking yourself, "How many times we are going to talk about red lipstick on this damn blog?!" I'll be honest, the answer might surprise you. We are going to keep talking about red lipstick, until people out in public stop staring at me, like I have something wrong with my face. So.. that might be.. probably close to forever. You might also be wondering why it is called the "party hard" red lip, instead of like, the classic red lip, or something more lady like. The reason for that, is that I like to drink. Be it iced coffee or vodka, I need a lipstick that holds up to a beverage and I don't really want to reapply it.

With that in mind, there is just no way around it, the Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in Outlaw is my favorite. It is ultra long wearing, it doesn't dry my lips out, its dries with a perfectly matte finish, and the color is amazing with one coat every single time. It's great by it's self, and the other steps just make it that much better.

I like to start by bleaching my teeth, not everyday or anything, like every few weeks. I have this problem where they never seem white enough to me. It's just hard when you're this pale. Your teeth really have a lot of competition. I like all of the Crest Whitestrips, but the one hour are my favorite because I usually forget to do them until I'm having a melt down about how my teeth aren't white enough. I put them on before I shower, then I can take them off about the time I'm finishing up my hair.

After my teeth are at their best, I like to go in with the Too Faced Lip Insurance lip primer to make sure that my mouth is minimally stained the next day. Of course, if you're doing it right, you really won't be leaving the house the next day anyway. But, after that, I use my NYX Slim Lip Pencil in Red Hot. You really don't need lip liner with this lipstick, the reason I use it, is because I have seriously shaky hands. I cannot stay in the lines. This will give you a really nice base and you can go ahead and paint that beautiful, easy to work with, Kat Von D liquid lipstick right on there. Oh my god, it is good! And it is not coming off!

Now, I have to just put it out there, with all this talk of the Everlasting Lipstick, don't judge me harsh if you totally disagree, but I hate Lolita. I hate it. It looks like a Hersey bar smeared on my face, and it ain't even a little cute. No thank you. I returned it.

roommates to sisters

Way back in 2005, I graduated high school and started college right after, (please do not get me started on the fact that I am still going...). The first year went pretty well. I connected with my roommate, Jessica, and we became great friends. We had almost all of our classes together, we were basically inseparable. But, the problem came a few weeks before Sophomore year started. Jessica called me and told me that she was dropping out. Not cool Jessica. What the hell? Who actually drops out of college? I guess you do, Jessica.

My anxiety immediately had me convinced that because Jessica was dropping out, somehow, I would never graduate, become a homeless person, and obviously have no time for children, because hello, I was already 20. Eventually, Aaron was able to convince me to pull myself together, at least until after I met this new girl they were sticking me with. This weird Megan girl, who wouldn't stop laughing on the phone. Seriously, like a child in a horror movie.

Looking back, I guess you could say, that it all worked out. Ten years later, Megan is one of my very best friends. We have been through so much together and I don't know what I would do without her. When you think about, its actually super cool that Jessica dropped out of college. Thanks girl! Really, the only problem with Megan is that she still hasn't stopped laughing.

Happy frickin' birthday Megan! I always have the best time with you, whether we are partying, eating, shopping, or doing sketch-up. Even though you made me wear a pink bridesmaid dress, I am so blessed to have you in my life. Love ya boo!

I almost forgot pictures of the food, which is, of course, why you came. I want to stress how dark it was in this restaurant, the pictures do not do this food justice. It was so so good. I highly recommend. Literally, the best pickle board of my entire life.

What did ya'll eat this weekend?!

10 honest confessions

I used to do link-ups a lot when I first started blogging. It was always a really great way to meet new people, increase traffic, and come up with new content. I wasn't exactly feeling my original post idea for today, and I'm all about making new friends lately, so I thought, why not try doing the "I Confess" link-up with Plucky In Love and Alanna & Company?

I confess that I am a complete control freak and that I get overwhelming anxiety over situations that are out of my hands.

I confess that I can't actually remember the last time that I worked out...

I confess that I was going to blog my favorite drug store red lip look today, but I ended up wearing a ridiculous purple one yesterday instead, so I didn't have any photos.

I confess that sometimes Aaron and I have romantic Home Depot hot dog dates.

I confess that I have been "working on" my blogs Facebook page for a week and it still isn't finished.

I confess that when I see girls I know in wedding dresses, I still want to try them on. Does that ever go away?

I confess that I might have a big fat secret.

I confess that I might just be getting prematurely excited over nothing (as per usual), so you're going to have to wait to find out.

I confess that this Bath & Body Works candle "Leaves" is seriously the shit. I love it.

I confess that I am late every single day, to every single thing, with every single person. Adios!

15 reasons I'm not an adult

Recently, Breanna and I were discussing, that in exactly two months from today, (December 13th), I will be 29. She said something along the lines of, "Maybe then you'll actually become an adult." To that I said, and very loudly, "no freaking way!!" You're only as old as you feel, right? Or maybe it has more to do with, you're as old as you are willing to accept. With that in mind, I have created a list of 15 things that I will continue to do, even though I'm almost 30!

I will still:

• go to the grocery store without a list
• hate black coffee, ew
• eat happy meals, for a boy or a girl, surprise me!
• serial text, when someone is busy or not responding
• buy two chocolate pies because I can't decide which one I want
• drop the F bomb in public
• love the shit out of Taylor Swift
• stay in bed most of a day and watch YouTube
• eat sour punch straws for dinner 
• sing Backstreet Boys in the shower
• refuse to brush my hair for days
• invest way too much of myself into my friends lives/choices
• carry on full and normal conversations with my dog
• waste gas and money by going to Target on the daily
• wait far too long in between hair appointments

 

Tell me, I'm not the only child in the group! What are some things that you do, that aren't very "adult"?!

one of MANY moves

If you didn't know, we basically live/we are parked next to a construction site. It's been great, not loud, distracting, annoying, dangerous, or crawling with men at all. But really, it hasn't been as bad as one might expect. All of the workers have been super nice, and despite showing up around 6:30 every morning, they haven't been too intrusive. I guess, my number one compliant would have to be the fact that I have to get completely dressed, before going outside to stop my dog from climbing into their cars... other than that, no big deal really.

This week, the owner of the house being built let us know that they were going to be building a new retaining wall. He wasn't sure how long, or how tall the wall was going to be... which I found kinda strange, but what do I know (I only went to school to be an architect for the last 10 years). Long story short, there was a good chance that we were going to get trapped where we were parked. So, we moved. We are probably like 20' from where we were, just perpendicular to our original spot. It's pretty strange though, from inside the trailer, its like a whole new world. I can't even imagine what it will be like when it really is a different place every couple of weeks or months. I cannot wait. 

But yeah, that was my weekend. What did you guys do?!

chicken bruschetta pasta

Today, for my first Food Porn Friday I decided to rehash a delicious recipe, that just happens to be one of my most viewed posts ever. So hey, it's totally okay to be excited, because this is a real big day. If I'm being honest, I'm just excited too. Excited that this post is finally finished.

What's great about this particular recipe is that it's actually two parts and you can finish both of them in ten steps! Or you could make the first part and then quit, like I did. Or you can keep going and make the whole thing. It's super flexible, unlike me. 

Bruschetta:

(1) wash & dry tomatoes, chop into bite size pieces (removing the seeds and juice)
(2) dice garlic & shallots
(3) combine tomatoes, garlic, shallots, & chopped basil
(4) drizzle with olive oil & balsamic vinegar
(5) add a dash of salt & pepper, mix thoroughly, & set aside

Bruschetta Chicken Pasta:

(1) cook the chicken
(2) cook the pasta
(3) mix cooked pasta & bruschetta
(4) mix chicken or serve with chicken on top
(5) EAT!

Since I was trying to "redo" this recipe, I tried to make it the same way as I did the first time. But I definitely like it way better without the pasta. I'm just not a big noodle person...unless its spaghetti-O's, then count me in. My inner three year old loves spaghetti-O's and marshmallows! Have a great weekend ya'll.