don't talk about it. be about it

Is this too many comparison/transformation photos? Perhaps.

When I try to pinpoint my "starting" weight for this whole "journey" it is really hard for me. Right about the time I was weighing in at 200lbs I stopped weighing myself completely. It was just to hard to accept that I was huge and it was all my own fault, ignoring it seemed so much easier. I stopped weighing myself but I didn't really change anything else.

When I finally realized (?) or decided, "enough is enough girl, you need to get your shit together," it was because I started to see like a second (fifth or six really) roll of fat. But it wasn't like your normal bra strap fat roll, or your muffin top. This was a roll of fat basically like a fanny pack. Who let's themselves get to the point where they have a permanent fanny fat pack! This was back in 2011.

I started by ordering an elliptical machine and forcing myself to do 25 minutes of cardio every single day. Regardless of my plans, work, or how I was feeling, I would do my 25 minutes. My family, Aaron, and his family were all irritated but I was feeling a lot better!

I got to the point where the weight stopped coming off and I knew I needed to up my game. I was like ok... I'm not ready to stop eating shit so what else can I do. I went hard on Pinterest and found simple beginner workouts for each day of the week. I was probably exercising regularly for 35 minutes a day. 

But again I hit a plateau. All that shit about abs being made in the kitchen was proving to be true. Throughout this experience it has been very challenging for me to ever get both aspects of my game on point. I am either consistently working out or I am eating healthy. It has been a real struggle for me, and I think that is why it has taken me so long to get to where I am now (which is still far from where I want to be).    

I was basically bouncing back and forth between healthy eating or exercising and I was stuck around 160. Not too long ago, July 2013 to be exact, I started doing crossfit regularly. I was finally starting to lose again and I was getting into really great shape. I was still eating pretty crummy, but the workouts were so hard that the fat wasn't sticking. I did crossfit the morning of our wedding and was at the lowest weight I can ever remember (149lbs). Crossfit is something that I still love to do, but because of some personal stuff and an injury I no longer attend a regular box.

Since the wedding and quitting my Crossfit gym, I gained back a lot of weight. A lot. I ended up going to the doctor, weighing almost 175lbs. I cried in the room telling him that I was meal prepping, counting my calories, and working out everyday. As it turned out, my body wasn't effectively using the insulin that it was producing. I have been taking medication for that now for almost two months, and it seems to be helping. But again, I am still not doing everything I should be.

Taking this medication has helped me to get back down to 157lbs. I say thank the medication for this because I really haven't done anythings else, at. all. I've probably worked out a maximum of five times since starting these pills. Basically what I'm getting at is: one thing is never enough. To be successful in anything, you have to use a variety of tools to get to where you want to be.

This week I challenge myself to take on my brother's advice: Don't talk about it. Be about it. It is my goal this week to go back to the beginning and use what I know works for me. 30 minutes of cardio every. single. day. "Regardless of my plans, work, or how I was feeling," I will do my 30 minutes!

If you made it to the end of this post, god bless you lol I am so sorry!! Thank you so much for caring enough to read about my life, or trusting me enough to read for some advice. I am going to crush this week, and you will too.